Shaped

426. That is the number of days that I have been home from my mission. It's been about one year and two months so far. I still can't believe that it's been that long it doesn't feel like I have been home for such a long time.

I loved my mission everything about it was amazing. For two years I was in Argentina floating around from city to city teaching people about the gospel of Jesus Christ. I loved it so much and I have been going over my mission a lot these last couple days and I felt like I should explain how the mission really did change my life.

I was born and raised a Mormon, or as it is formally known a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I grew up this way my parents were both members and so were all my brothers and sister, being Mormon was just the natural way of life for me. In fact I never even questioned it, ever. I knew what we believed as Mormons, I had learned all my life about how Joseph Smith,at the age of fourteen, prayed in the woods near his house. H wanted to know which of all the churches were true so that he could join it. I learned how he saw a pillar of light and in that pillar he saw both the God the father and his son Jesus Christ. Joseph was told to not join any of the churches and was called to be the prophet of the Restoration, the time in which god would restore his gospel completely on the earth. I learned that it was through this boy that The Book of Mormon was translated from gold plates that were hidden in the hill Cumorah. I learned everything there was to know about the church while i was younger but with all this knowledge there was something that I didn't have. I didn't have a testimony.

I went through most of my teenage life never gaining a real testimony. I went to church and I read the scriptures but I never took the initiative to actually find out if it was true or not. I simply believed it because my parents believe it and I was taught to follow it. Kind of like how you can train sheep to follow a Shepard. I never really questioned what it was that I was living and doing. In fact I just did it. It felt right and I have never been a rebel. I went to church and prayed because my parents said I should and that I would be blessed for it. I never had any reason to really doubt them. They have never lead me astray before so why would they in this aspect of my life. I love my parents they are amazingly good people they raised me to be a good person and I am thankful for all that they taught me and they raised me to be the best person that I could be. The only thing that I never did was try and find out the information for myself.

That was a huge hindrance for me when i finally went on my mission. I started my mission at the MTC, for those of you who aren't Mormon that is the Missionary Training Center. I was there for about two months. While there we are assigned to a companionship. my first companion was Brian Fernandez. I still remember meeting him at the MTC outside of our dorm. he was a really nice buy and as I got to know him I gained more and more respect for him. I hadn't met any one like him before. Not that was my age anyways. He was one of those guys that knew who he was and was certain that everything his parents had taught him was true. He knew it for himself because he actually took the time to study it all out. When he entered the MTC he had read the Book of Mormon fourteen times, and here I was having read it once and never ever prayed about it. I didn't have a testimony I had only basic knowledge of the gospel. I saw Brian and I wanted to have what he had a cure foundation and a knowledge in my heart that all this was the true church because when I was around him I knew for a fact that he knew it was true.

It was because of him that I wanted to find out for myself. I had to know I had come into the MTC knowing very little about what I was going to be teaching people about for two years. You can't really teach something if you don't believe in it, and I really needed to know. I had spent too long of a time putting off finding out for myself what it was I actually believed in. So i set a goal for myself I knew I had two months in the MTC and I figured that would be more than enough time to read the 531 pages in The book of Mormon. So I set out to do that I read as much of it as I could while there in the MTC. I read during free time, I read during class, I read while I was in bed at night. I was going to finish the book before I left and find out if it was true or not. As a read tough the strangest thing started to happen, I started wanting to read more and more of the scriptures. It was almost as if I started to thirst for it and I couldn't get enough of them I was learning things that I had never known before I was starting to learn what it meant to actually have a testimony of the gospel. I started to know for myself that this was the true church. I was so into the book that I actually finished it in half the time. By the end of my first month there I knew for a fact that the book of mormon was the word of God. I am still sure of it still I love the church and that experience in the MTC was the spring board for God to shape me into the person I am today.

I learned a lot when I actually got into the field it was such an adventure going out there to Argentina and walking around those streets. I met and taught so many people. Though I didn't get to baptize a whole lot in fact I went through most of my mission with no body really wanting to get baptized into the church. It was quite difficult for me. i was doing everything in my power to obey the rules so that God would help me find those people who were ready. I found a bunch of people who would listen to me but no one would actually commit to being baptized. I wanted too bad and no matter what I did I couldn't do it. I was quite heartbreaking. I managed to keep my chin up for most of it, but at the end of my mission I finally broke down.

I remember the night that I actually broke down very well. It was a Sunday night three weeks before I returned home. we were reviewing out numbers for the past week recording how many people we taught, how many people we contacted in the street, and how many people were progressing towards baptism. I remember adding everything up and realizing that we had no one who was progressing towards being baptized. I wanted to baptize so bad during my mission and now that I was three weeks away from the end of my mission I was never going to. the rule was that an investigator had to go to church for three weeks in order for us to be able to baptize them. I only had three week left and I knew that there was no way I would be baptizing by the end of my mission. So I broke down I left my room and I went out onto the deck and I started crying. I'll admit to it, I cried a lot in fact I really don't know how long I was out there for but I know it was quite some time. I remember just sitting there in with my head in between my knees while I cried. I sat that way for a long time just talking to God. I didn't know who else to talk to. I turned to him to find out why my mission had not been successful and why I hadn't been able to baptize anybody.

I just prayed and prayed to God for an answer trying to figure out what I had done wrong. Why I hadn't I been able to reach my goals and help people come into the church. every other elder in the apartment came out to figure out what was wrong with me and try to help cheer me up. they all helped a little but none of them could really help me with what I was going through. They eventually left me alone for a little bit and I continued to pray, and as I prayed I got a very strong feeling. It was a very good feeling that just cheered me up so much it brought me higher than I had felt in a long time. I knew this feeling was my answer. With this feeling there was this amazing idea into my head that I knew instantly was my answer. What it told me was that maybe the mission wasn't for your investigators maybe the mission was for you. As I pondered on this I realized that was indeed case. I may not have changed anybody, but I had changed a lot.

I started the mission as a young nineteen year old boy. I knew nothing about the world and about how it works. happy as I was in this state it was nothing compared to what I became. The mission is the hardest most wonderful experience a young man can go on. it's full of ups and downs and wonderful adventures. If you go on a mission with the right mind set you can leave the mission a million times better than when you came on it. That was exactly what happened to me.

Like I said earlier I cam one the mission as a boy. I was naive and I knew very little about the trials and tribulations in life but the mission was the easy way of learning it with fewer consequences. I believe that God sent me out there to become a better man. He knew I needed life experiences and that I would be able to prepare better for life after you get off the mission when you go to college start your own life and get married. I was not ready for all of that at all when I went on the mission I was completely clueless about that sort of thing. I had never been away from home more than a week and I hadn't leaned much about what it was like living on your own. The mission is like a soft entrance into the world it's not the same as just getting out and experiencing life for yourself. Rather the mission is a God's way of teaching us about life while he guides us by the hand. In return for going out for two years of our life to preach the gospel we learn what life can really be like and how to be a better person.

not only did I learn about the gospel and gain a strong testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. I also learned how to live off of a small paycheck every month making sure you didn't spend it all at the beginning so that you had enough to survive the last week. I learned the importance of maintaining a clean house and that once you are out of the house mom won't be there to clean it for you neither will any of your room mates. I also learned that eating healthy and regular exercise can help you lose a lot of weight, like seventy pounds worth of it. I learned how to work extremely hard and not give up working until the job is done. I learned the importance of good study habits and how to study things completely. I learned the joys of teaching others the gospel and it made me excited to have kids to that I can teach them to be righteous as well. I learned how to live with others and put up with their differences even when you don't like each other.

the mission taught me so much. It made me a better person and God helped me become the man I am today. I am thankful that I got to go and I don't regret going at all. I came back a better person and even though I didn't get to change anyone's life I changed my own. I know that this church is true and that God helps change a man when he puts forth an effort and I am thankful for the opportunity I had to rise to the challenge and be one of his missionaries. Because now I know who I am and what I am supposed to be and I won't be anything less.